You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Dicks are not precious.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
