that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
its liver damage thursday
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
