The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
