if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize