You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
