cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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