I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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