yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize