I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
