Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
There's always time for handjobs
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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