i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize