it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
