I'm going to jail i love you
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
