And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
