just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
