dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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