if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
why didn't you poke me back
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
