Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
