Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
we're making bets on your personal life
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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