Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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