I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
