i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
