He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Ladies don't puke and tell
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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