I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
