You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
