I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
