Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize