When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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