making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
