there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
