So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize