i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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