I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
