Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
