i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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