Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
