: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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