He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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