Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Randomize
