My hand turned me down
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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