zippers are such a cool invention
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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