it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
