There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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