Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
