What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
