The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
