I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
