I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
