This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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