You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
