you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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