porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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