im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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