the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
