It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize