I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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