Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
