Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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