i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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