Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I believe in your delicious
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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