dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
